May God do so to Abner, and more also, if as the Lord has sworn to David, I do not accomplish this for him, to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to establish the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba. (verse 9-10)
Message: Abner's Negotiations with David
Time: Second Samuel is set in the land of Israel during the reign of David and follows the course of his forty years as king of Israel (1011–971 BC). It chronicles the establishment of the Davidic dynasty and the expansion of Israel under God’s chosen leader.
What the Lord is Saying: In the previous chapter, David was anointed king over Judah but Abner wasn't ready to accept this and instead made Ish-bosheth, Saul's son, king. The servants of Ish-bosheth and servants of David get into a conflict with the servants of David prevailing. Asahel, one of the sons of Zeruiah (half-sister to David) died in the battle. Thus, at the beginning of chapter 3 is now "a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David" and "David grew steadily stronger." David's sons are mentioned now, first born Ammon, Chileab, Absalom, Adonijab, Shephatiah, and Ithream - all born from different women, thus David has now at least 7 wives, as Michal is not mentioned here.
Abner has taken Saul's concubine, much to the anger of Ish-bosheth and is confronted by Ish-bosheth. Abner does not take the confrontation well, as he believes he has done much good for Ish-bosheth, resulting in Ish-bosheth being afraid of Abner (v. 6-11).
Abner works to negotiate now with David, wanting a covenant with him. David wants Michal in return. Ish-bosheth gets her from her current husband. (v.12-16)
Abner asks the house of Israel to now go stand before David, with him as king. Abner comes to David in Hebron to have a feast with him. Meanwhile the servants of David and Joab come with spoils from a raid. Joab learns of Abner's arrival and is bothered, knowing that Abner is out to deceive David. (v. 17-25).
Joab then sneakily kills Abner, meeting up with him. Joab is still mad about the death of his brother Asahel. David then tells Joab to tear his clothes on behalf of this death. Abner was buried in Hebron with David weeping at his grave. David offers a lament for Abner: "Should Abner die as a fool dies? Your hands were not bound, nor your feet put in fetters; as one falls before the wicked, you have fallen." Abner died at the hands of vengeance. There had been no legal process. David remarks, "May the Lord repay the evildoer according to his evil."
David has every reason to be not angry at Joab for killing Abner for Abner had slain a relative of his, but just as he did with Saul, he upheld Abner. In some ways his last sentence could have been what Joab did in killing Abner, but the motives of Joab were wrong and his purpose was not to do the Lord's will and glorify God. Our intentions matter. Our hearts matter. Why we do what we do is as important as what we do, if not more.
In response to Saul as compared to David, I Samuel 16:7 says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God does not see as man sees, since man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Summary: Ish-bosheth servants and David's are in conflict. After David makes a covenant with Abner, Joab shows up and has vengeance on Abner for killing his brother. David laments Abner's death.
Promise: Let us seek His kingdom, not our own advancement within it.
Prayer: Lord, I remember how Abner recognized Your anointing on David and chose to act by making a covenant with David. Give me courage to align myself with what is right, even if it requires change. Help me turn from old alliances that no longer honor You. Protect me from bitterness and revenge. When Joab acted out of personal vengeance, it brought sorrow and consequences. Deliver me from acting in anger. Teach me to entrust justice to You. God of compassion, I see David’s grief over Abner. Give me a heart that mourns wrongdoing and loss, even when it involves those who were once opponents. Make me a leader — in my home, my workplace, my community — who responds with integrity and mercy. You establish leaders. You bring down and raise up according to Your will. Let my life be built not on power or politics, but on faithfulness to You.
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