Ephesians 6:1-4 - The Vocation of Parents and Children

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Message: The Vocation of Parents and Children

Time: Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians sometime in AD 60–61, around the same time he wrote Colossians and Philemon. Ephesians deals with topics at the core of being a Christian - faith and practice, no matter the situation.

What the Lord is Saying: Each believer, each follower of Jesus, is commissioned to have a vocation. In one of the first foundational messages for this series of lessons on vocation, I looked at I Peter 2:9 where each of us is set aside--like the priest of Israel was--to serve the Lord. All of us. As today's passage mentions, both children and adults have a vocation in their positions, in their roles. 

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." He quotes the 5th commandment - Exodus 20:12 -- “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." (Also repeated in Deuteronomy 5:16 - "Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.") And yet in this obedience it is "in the Lord." Obedience is according to the Lord's ways so children are not to engage in sinful ways that the parents may lead. 

Why? Or rather, what will be the outcome? Life will be better for the child that obeys. Days will be prolonged. Life will be better for those who are obedient, but they also need to have parents that put forth Godly principles. 

And so also the parents have a role - "do not provoke your children to anger." I know I did not do a good job with this one. One of my bigger regrets in life is the anger I modeled and struggled with in my life while the kids were growing up and the anger that I then passed along and see displayed in them to this day. It is hard. I think I was ready to be a husband but not sure I knew how to be a father. I should have gotten more help in this. I missed out. My kids are only the way they are because hopefully they ignored me and they learned the opposite way. I made issues too big. I would rather have a do over. The words of Tabletalk mark my failure further - Don't set expectations on them they cannot fulfill. I tried. I set up rules, but only wanted 100% obedience. I think I was only doing things right when I was coaching them, but I never coached Tyson except for the 3v3. 

O God, make what I did wrong, right. I do know your mercy is key. 

Summary: Children are to obey parents and in the process their life will be better off. Parents are to not provoke their children to anger, setting reasonable expectations for them. 

Promise: Parents should strive to clearly communicate their expectations and make sure that these expectations are reasonable. 

Prayer: Lord, you know my failures. I see those failures in my memories and it pains me. I know there were good times, but I hate the memories of my toughness, my not smiling, my strange expectations. Heal me and heal those kids of mine. Help them stand up and take hold of the good memories. Lord, help my children be much better parents than I was. At least Lord, they know the wrong way. Thank you for the good parents you gave me and the great mom I had and the great provider my father was to me and the great love they always showed us. 

Ephesians 5:22-24 - The Vocation of Wives

Ephesians 5:22-24 - 22 Wives, [be subject] to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself [being] the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives [ought to be] to their husbands in everything.

Message: The Vocation of Wives

Time: Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians sometime in AD 60–61, around the same time he wrote Colossians and Philemon. Ephesians deals with topics at the core of being a Christian - faith and practice, no matter the situation.

What the Lord is Saying: As I study this today, I remember what I studied and learned in the previous lesson, namely that the husband is to love his wife and be a servant to his wife. Let's face it, our country, the United States, has not done a good job being obedient to the real truths of the Bible. We have misunderstood commands. Often in our history we have focused more on the people which society views as less: the woman, the minority or black person - and in this process the man is able to have whatever power he deems necessary over these. And now it seems society is trying to swing the pendulum in the other direction. But let's face it, these words from Ephesians on these subjects have been completely misunderstood. 

So why have people been viewed as less? It seems that servants have been misunderstood. Yet, Jesus, God in flesh, says he came to serve. As we divide roles in society, we elevate some and lessen others. We do this often by how we pay people. In pay, we think someone is more valuable than another. And with men working and women at home, with the servants, do we also then devalue women. But the slave or servant still had rights and it is unfortunate what has resulted. But it is also unfortunate that in society, in general, we don't allow for differences. We don't allow for different roles and responsibilities. And so along the way much has been the source of confusion. 

It is a hard lesson here but the wife is to submit to the husband and this means the husband is to be a leader in the home. I am thankful to my wife who was taught this and recognizes this and does this. My mom modeled this so well in the home, submitting always to my father as the leader. No one did it better than my mom, but my wife also does it well. And yet this does not mean that I don't always value what my wife thinks and believes because I do. 

But submission is only does as to the Lord. The Lord would never ask us to do something that is contrary to His Word and His ways, so if a husband is asking his wife to do something contrary to scripture and the Holy Spirit's leading then the wife does not and should not submit. So this is not a carte blanche of submission. 

Summary: Wives submit to their husbands, as they would submit to the Lord, and conversely the husband is to be the Godly leader. 

Promise: Husbands are not perfect so submission may mean being led in an imperfect manner or husbands in error but not to husbands in sin. 

Prayer: Thank you God for the awesome example in my home growing up of my mom and her submission. This is a submission that I at times have had a hard time watch her do. Perhaps out of selfishness on my part because I did not want what my dad was doing, but my mom stayed faithful to him always. And thank you to my wife who also submits to me. Help me to serve her always so that she wants to submit. And lead my daughter to do the same. 

Ephesians 5:25-33 - The Vocation of Husbands

Ephesians 5:25-33 - 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are parts of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Message: The Vocation of Husbands

Time: Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians sometime in AD 60–61, around the same time he wrote Colossians and Philemon. Ephesians deals with topics at the core of being a Christian - faith and practice, no matter the situation.

What the Lord is Saying: This is possibly one of my favorite verses in the Bible because it has taught me so much about my marriage and yet it is so simple - Husbands, love your wives. It is amazing what can be accomplished by these simple words. These words keep me out of trouble. I find that when I take my eyes off of my bride and knowing her, I get sidetracked and off in areas I should not be involved in. 

But right now, in this month's lessons, I am looking at vocations and this is the vocation of a husband. As I read this text I noticed some things:

• Husbands, Love your wives - again, first and foremost we are to love them. 
• We mirror Christ's love for His Church, His called ones. He wants always the best for His Church and we should always want what is best for our wives.
• Jesus gave Himself up. He died for the church. And we as husbands should have the same type of willingness to give ourselves up for our wives. 
• Jesus had a purpose in giving Himself up - to sanctify His people and present them as clean. This is also my job as a Husband, to make my wife the best she can be always and present Her before God.
• I present my wife as Jesus present me with all glory. This is my greatest prize on this earth. 
• I love her like I love myself. 
• And yet me and my wife are part of a bigger body of believers. So we should not ever think of ourselves too highly. 
• Before Him, my wife and I are one. That is hard to fathom, but it is true. 
• After all this, the wife will respect her husband. She must. 

As a reminder, Protestantism doesn't elevate certain people or positions as having greater calling than others. The priesthood of all believers says all have a similar level of calling, just some called to serve in the church and some as leaders in our world. Some are ordained for ministry and some are not. 

Marriage was established by God in creation and the role of husband is a nonordained vocation. The husband has a calling and a special role, first and foremost to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, husbands lead but not in a domineering way. It is a leadership based upon a deep love. A wife's needs are more important than a husbands needs. Just as the Son of God took on the form of a servant. 

Philippians 2:5-11

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

This is the role of man - to empty Himself, be a servant and humble himself. Interesting that the submission of the woman to the leadership of the husband includes the husband humbling himself as a servant. He is to serve His wife. This seems opposite to what our traditional values have taught. 

Summary: Husbands have a nonordained vocation to love their wives, humbling themselves as Christ did towards His church, and serving their wives. 

Promise: Husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the church, which means they must be willing to die for their wives. The husband's willingness to die for his wife may take the form of actual, physical death, but for most husbands, being willing to die for their wives entails living sacrificially for them. 

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for my wife and I thank you for your words that encourage me daily how I am to sacrifice for her, put her first, and serve her. You show me the correct way to live and in the process, this reaps incredible benefits on my life and my enjoyment of my wife and how we serve You together. Thank you God for knowing exactly what I needed. Keep me humble and help me continually to look to You for answers and not the world. Shield me from this world and how it distracts me away from these purposes continually. Draw people to yourself and right wrongs in our nation and world over these issues. I praise You God.  

Colossians 3:16-17 - Lay Duties: Teaching, Admonishment, and Thanks

Colossians 3:16-17 - 16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Message: Lay Duties: Teaching, Admonishment, and Thanks

Time: Paul penned this letter to the Colossian church in AD 60-61 during his first imprisonment in Rome after the church was under attack and denigrating the deity of Christ. He penned it before visiting the church. Christ was and is the visible image of the invisible God, containing within Himself the fullness of Deity. 

What the Lord is Saying: As I was finishing up my senior year at Baylor University in 1989 and 1990, I honestly wondered if there was a call for me to go into full-time ministry. I really enjoyed the Bible teaching of Tommy Nelson from Denton Bible Church and I even made a personal visit to the seminary he attended in Dallas - Dallas Theological Seminary. I seriously wondered if this would be my vocation. But as I prayed about it, I sensed the Lord was leading me not into full time ministry, but instead to be an active lay person, working and yet active in ministry. To this day, I still wonder if anyone should be in full-time ministry as a vocation or whether everyone should be working in some capacity. Over the years, I see a tendency among non-paid church staff to watch the paid staff do most of the work of the church. But, my guess is that even if this happened, there would still be a tendency to watch a small number do the work of the church. And yet, I can't help but think that the model found in the Old Testament of priests set aside is not the model of the New Testament and beyond. 

But the reality is the church body is made up of people with different responsibilities. I have studied in the previous two lessons the responsibilities of elders and also deacons. And so this lesson provides words that can be applied to those in the Body. Chapters 3 and 4 of Colossians are laid out as verses that respond to the sufficiency of Christ in all things and thereby the practice of the believer and in these verses how the believer is to put on the new man. 

Colossians 3 says to "seek the things above" (v. 1), "set your mind on things above" (v. 2), "your earthly body is dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed" (v. 5), "put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive speech" (v. 8), "do not lie to one another" (v. 9), "put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (v. 12), "bear with one another, forgive one another" (v. 13), "love" (v.14), "let peace of Christ rule in you" (v. 15), "let the Word of Christ richly dwell within you - teach, admonish, sing, with thankfulness" (v. 16), "do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Jesus to God the Father" (v. 17). And then what follows is specific direction to wives, husbands, and children. 

Here in these verses we see a responsibility we have to shed the old life and the sins that entangled us. But also to put on the new life and all that comes with it. And then more specifically, what this passage of Scripture is emphasizing today is: 

(1) let the Word of Christ dwell within you. As I am doing right now, we need to do as we gather and that is to dwell on the Word of Christ. Each of us can through our lives and our words teach one another. Teaching is not reserved to only some. I notice this in our Sunday school class as the teacher leads us and often asks questions of us. In the answers from the class, we can receive encouragement and teaching from one another. 

(2) It also says to admonish which means to warn or reprimand. We need to watch out for one another. A friend and I have been doing this lately, encouraging one another in our lives and some of the dangers of life that often occur. There are temptations all around us to get off the path of truth and onto the path of sin. We must stay clear. And we can do this through our singing with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. Let the word of God not only speak but sing. Scripture can be sung to one another. 

(3) sing with thankfulness. I am continually reminded of the need to be thankful. I was with a friend yesterday and we were sitting and thinking. Each of us are in our mid-50s. We have raised kids and all the kids are out of the house. And the reality is we have a lot to be thankful for. It is good to stop always and lift up our voices to thank God for his provision and how He has carried us through so much in this life. We are not done, but God has done so much. 

Summary: Each person in the church puts on the new person in Christ to learn God's word, teaching, admonishing and giving thanks. 

Promise: Let us seek to give thanks to God in all things, remembering that He works all things for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28). 

Prayer: O God, you are good. You are true. You are right. I thank you for making me new. And for showing me continually what needs to be old about me - what needs to be in my past - namely sins that should not be known by me. Help me continually to do good. I want to put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. I want to bear with one another and come alongside one another to forgive one another. Help me to love, really love people the way you love. I pray Christ for your peace to rule in me. I ask that your Word Lord would richly dwell in me. Help me to teach others and to be taught. I want to sing your songs lifting high those words of hymns and Psalms. Be glorified in everything I do and in everything I say. 

Hebrews 13:17 - Lay Duties: Obedience

Hebrews 13:17 - Obey your leaders, and submit to them; for they keep watch over your souls, as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for they would be unprofitable for you. 

Message: Lay Duties: Obedience

Time: Hebrews was written to a group of Christians who had suffered in the past and were now threatened with even more suffering. They'd done well years ago, but the author of Hebrews feared that they might now turn away from Christ to avoid further persecution. The opinions on the author of Hebrews has varied.

What the Lord is Saying: After a quick read of chapter 13, it reads like a summary of encouragement to people that they need to remember to do: show hospitality to strangers (v.2), remember prisoners (v. 3), hold marriage in high view (v. 4), be free from the love of money (v. 5), imitate those who led you (v. 7), do not be carried away by strange teachings (v.9), through Jesus, continually offer a sacrifice of praise to God (v.15), don't neglect doing good (v. 16), and finally obey your leaders (v. 17). 

In verse 7 are the words Remember those who led you...imitate and now here is versus 17 is more - obey your leaders, and submit. The leaders are they who keep watch over your souls. The idea here is not simply to listen, but be ready to comply with their wishes and requests. And as we submit something happens to our leaders. It says that have joy and not grief. The greatest joy and encouragement we can give to our leaders is by doing what they ask. Boy, this is hard. It takes me out of my comfort zone because I only want to do what is comfortable. 

I admit a struggle with this at times and I think in the Church we are often quick in these latter days to offer our opinions on whether we should submit or not. Even in the reading today from Tabletalk, most of the lesson speaks of how we need to only be submitting to leaders that are preaching the word of God correctly and we have no obligation over those who do not do this. For me, this speaks to our times and the constant commentary we have on life. We would rather talk about people than be obedient to them. 

It reminds me of Proverbs 16:27 -- "A worthless man digs up evil while his words are a scorching fire." The Living Bible translates this as "Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece." Perhaps this is a different lesson, but we are too quick to disagree. It seems in our idleness we are quicker to grumble and complain. The idea in this verse is we dig up evil. We look too hard for something that may not clearly be there. 

But the encouragement from all of these verses in Hebrews including verse 7 and 17 is to remember to do these things. I even catch myself doing this. I received an email this past week stating that we need to do a good job as men to serve the women in our church by helping with oil changes. And my first thought is maybe God has something else for me to do. Rather than responding to the call, I wonder if I could do something else. Again, why is my first thought not to jump at it? But rather to wonder if I should. 

Summary: Submit to God-honoring leaders in a way that makes them glad to their jobs. 

Promise: It is easy to gripe and complain about our church leaders, but it is much harder to submit to them as God calls us to do. 

Prayer: O Lord, help me to be one that obeys first rather than does commentary first. Help me to be a person of obedience to my leaders, not simply when I agree with them and their stances. Help me to not grumble. Lord, keep encouraging me in these words to go the extra mile. 

I Timothy 3:8-13 - The Vocation of Deacon

I Timothy 3:8-13 - Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain, but holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach. Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. 

Message: The Vocation of Deacon

Time: Paul is writing to a young pastor in Timothy. He is writing to Timothy in about AD 63, who is serving the church in Ephesus. He is writing about church leadership and organizing the church. Paul gives practical and pastoral advice. 

What the Lord is Saying: Deacon is the English translation of the Greek word diakonos, which was given to servants of various kinds in the ancient world. 

Acts 6:1-6 is another passage that seems to describe deacons: Now at this time while the disciples were increasing [in number], a complaint arose on the part of the Hellenistic (non-Palestinian Jews who normally spoke Greek) [Jews] against the [native] Hebrews, because their widows were being overlooked in the daily service [of food]. And the twelve summoned the congregation of the disciples and said, "It is not desirable for us to neglect the word of God in order to serve tables. But select among you, brethren, seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task. But we will devote ourselves to prayer, and to the ministry of the word. And the statement found approval with the whole congregation; and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas and Nicolas, a proselyte (a Gentile convert to Judaism) from Antioch. And these they brought before the apostles; and after praying, they laid their hands on them. 

These passage speaks of service that needs to occur - widows needing food. The Word of God is needed but we must not neglect those that are in need. It is the elders that care for spiritual needs and deacons care for physical needs. 

There has been debate as to whether these passages permit women to also participate and serve in these roles. The passage in I Timothy calls attention to women. Perhaps here, in acts of service, the focus should be people that are reputable and honest and will not use the office to seek out selfish gains. We are to be focused on serving and meeting people's needs. And so in doing that function the people serving need to have dignity. They are not people that say one thing and do another (double-tongued). They are not be addicted to win or food. They are to watch their speech and not be gossips. 

I served as a deacon early on in the church, as a young Christian. Perhaps I was not ready for this role. And perhaps I took it as being set apart and distinct rather as one that was truly committed to service. I have often had the notion that the deacons need to be about serving the Body and attending to the needs of those in the church. 

Summary: Deacons play a vital role in making sure people's basic needs are met. 

Promise: The People of God need to be supportive of deacons and giving to funds so that they can pass them onto the Body. 

Prayer: O Lord, help me to understand how to serve people and help me Lord to get more involved in service, in taking the time to meet people's needs that are in the church. Lord, help me to be supportive of those that are assisting people and serving people.