Ephesians 6:1-4 - The Vocation of Parents and Children

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Message: The Vocation of Parents and Children

Time: Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians sometime in AD 60–61, around the same time he wrote Colossians and Philemon. Ephesians deals with topics at the core of being a Christian - faith and practice, no matter the situation.

What the Lord is Saying: Each believer, each follower of Jesus, is commissioned to have a vocation. In one of the first foundational messages for this series of lessons on vocation, I looked at I Peter 2:9 where each of us is set aside--like the priest of Israel was--to serve the Lord. All of us. As today's passage mentions, both children and adults have a vocation in their positions, in their roles. 

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." He quotes the 5th commandment - Exodus 20:12 -- “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." (Also repeated in Deuteronomy 5:16 - "Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.") And yet in this obedience it is "in the Lord." Obedience is according to the Lord's ways so children are not to engage in sinful ways that the parents may lead. 

Why? Or rather, what will be the outcome? Life will be better for the child that obeys. Days will be prolonged. Life will be better for those who are obedient, but they also need to have parents that put forth Godly principles. 

And so also the parents have a role - "do not provoke your children to anger." I know I did not do a good job with this one. One of my bigger regrets in life is the anger I modeled and struggled with in my life while the kids were growing up and the anger that I then passed along and see displayed in them to this day. It is hard. I think I was ready to be a husband but not sure I knew how to be a father. I should have gotten more help in this. I missed out. My kids are only the way they are because hopefully they ignored me and they learned the opposite way. I made issues too big. I would rather have a do over. The words of Tabletalk mark my failure further - Don't set expectations on them they cannot fulfill. I tried. I set up rules, but only wanted 100% obedience. I think I was only doing things right when I was coaching them, but I never coached Tyson except for the 3v3. 

O God, make what I did wrong, right. I do know your mercy is key. 

Summary: Children are to obey parents and in the process their life will be better off. Parents are to not provoke their children to anger, setting reasonable expectations for them. 

Promise: Parents should strive to clearly communicate their expectations and make sure that these expectations are reasonable. 

Prayer: Lord, you know my failures. I see those failures in my memories and it pains me. I know there were good times, but I hate the memories of my toughness, my not smiling, my strange expectations. Heal me and heal those kids of mine. Help them stand up and take hold of the good memories. Lord, help my children be much better parents than I was. At least Lord, they know the wrong way. Thank you for the good parents you gave me and the great mom I had and the great provider my father was to me and the great love they always showed us.