Proverbs 17:9-10 - Discerning Rebuke

Proverbs 17:9-10
He who conceals a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.  A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.

Message: Being wise with our words

Time: It seems that Proverbs was written and then compiled sometime between the tenth and sixth centuries B.C. Proverbs was probably written during the reign of Solomon, 971-931 B.C.

What the Lord is Saying:

He who conceals a transgression seeks love
He who conceals a sin or hides a sin or covers a sin or does not bring that sin to light -- in his brother or sister takes the course which leads to gain. We live in a world that loves to find wrong in others. It is presidential election time and the goal often is to find something in the life of a candidate to discredit him. It is to find something that will make him look bad. Right now, we have a candidate that is speaking matter of fact, but I find that what people love the most is he assaults people and he brings to light the things that they have done wrong. It is kindness and forbearance that we forgive one another and not just forgive one another, but ignore sins. Verse 9 speaks of friends and so this phrase is even more talking about our attitude towards each other. 

He who repeats a matter separate intimate friends
How often have I in my life brought up a sin from my own kids that they have done in the past and held it against them once again? Too many times. I am embarrassed at how often I have done this. I am not to catalog sins so as to add more fuel to the fire and make people feel worse. My goal should be to encourage and mention things that can build others up. I am to be kind in my speech. I am to be encouraging. O God, how poor I have been at this. How wretched I am. Help me to learn to praise more and thank people more and forgive more. Forgiveness needs to be the mark of my life. But, I should not think this covers all sins. The point here is the minor sins and minor infractions that really do not need to be brought up again and again.

A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding
If a rebuke is needed, then it goes deeper, or will have more of an affect on one who has understanding.  A word is enough for the wise. If I am a person that has understanding, then rebukes or a harsh word will be more palpable. This seems like a personal characteristic at times. As I consider my children and how they respond to criticism; some seem to handle it better than others. And I think of employees that I have as well. Some accept the criticism better than others.

than a hundred blows into a fool
But a fool can't take even a hundred blows and come out unchanged. Lord, there are others that do not accept any sort of criticism. For the cypress tree, the more it is watered, the more it is withered. And even more of an issue is the person that has become so callous to correction. The horse has to have a bit and bridle in its mouth in order to be moved to change. Great lengths are necessary for some people to even hope that you can get a change out of them. 


Promise: The Bible over and over talks about our speech and its importance. I am to speak the truth in love, not seeking to crush sensitive souls but to build them up in Christ.